Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam….

Remember Monty Python and the Spam song? I can’t say the word without humming the tune. And you can’t be a blogger without getting spam comments daily.

I always delete them. But sadly, many are some of the nicest, albeit computer generated, comments I’ll ever hope to hear. I give you some of my favorites:

1. I love your blog. You are a genius. I will follow you forever. (I’ve often thought of myself having genius-like qualities. Except when I leave things on the hood of my car and drive off, lock myself out of the house, go to one room in search of something and forget what that something is when I get there, show up at the wrong time OR date for a birthday party, constantly run 15 minutes late….)

2. Thank you for your intriguing and brilliant thoughts. You are the best blogger I have found. (Really? Better then the Pioneer Woman? Better then Dooce? Better then The Bloggess? Liar, liar pants on fire BUT - hey - thanks!)

3. You make me think a lot about things I don’t think about. I will continue to follow your blog with great enthusiasm. (I like to provoke thoughts about important topics like Christmas lights, fresh breath and blue cotton candy - so thanks! And I really like enthusiast followers. But I also like lazy followers. Just know that if you follow me, I love you. I’m just accepting like that.)

4. Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for. You make blogging look easy. (To answer the non-real person that asked this: two and half years. I also make pouring a bowel of cereal, writing checks and coming up with different ideas to get out of housework look easy too. Mamas got talents!)

But some spam comments don’t make me smile. Like this one:

He-he I see that you doing good buddy, well written content. It would be good for you if you could invest in some ads you know, then you’re blog would be blooming after that. (Was that a compliment? No. Buddies don’t make buddies invest in ads. But thanks anyway blooming spammer! And it’s your not you’re.)

Or this:

Great to meet you blogger discovered your blog via yahoo but it was hard to find and I see you could have more visitors because there are not so many comments yet….(This comment hurts my head because it’s both insulting and a run on sentence.)

But this morning I got one that made me smile. Not because of the message. But because of the sender.

Hello. What’s new? What’s up?….from Vicodin. (It makes me feel kinda good that Vicodin is just wondering how I am. Nothing to sell. No fake nice comments or knife jabbing comments disguised as compliments. But how did Vicodin find me and when did we get into such a personal relationship? I mean, it’s been two years since my rotator cuff surgery and even longer then that since I had my gallbladder removed. I want to reply back: I’m good, thanks. Glad I haven’t had any major pains or surgeries requiring the need for a prescription for you - but it’s always fun watching you on the hit TV show House!)

Side not: The comment from Vicodin was made on my post entitled: Note to Self: Avoid Melt-Downs By Taking Care of Myself! Priceless - right?!


Things that Confuse Me: Red or Blue?

When did The Red Box movie rental kiosks turn blue? Am I the only person who paused for a minute before I returned my DVD? Is it a red box or a blue box? Pick one, guys!