Here We Go

So on Saturday I was thinking it would be a good idea to go Christmas shopping. With the kids. At an outlet mall. Two weeks before Christmas.


Sometimes I think I’ve got some kind of brain condition that makes it impossible for me to make a good decision when it comes to shopping.

After bribing the kids on multiple occasions with Yu-gi-oh cards and rides on the mechanical horses and cars, we did kinda, sorta ok.

Until we got to Osh Gosh Bygosh. Or was it Carters? I don’t even freakin’ know because by the time we got there I had spent $25 on vending machine food and drinks and couldn’t feel my left hand because I didn’t have the use of my right arm to carry all of my purchases (remember - rotator cuff surgery? Keep up with me.)

I was supposed to meet my friend in Gymboree (I had taken my son to Vans because he really “NEEDS” another pair of sneakers). When she wasn’t in Gymboree I naturally assumed she’d be in one of the other toddler type clothing stores nearby. I found her in the dressing room with one of my kids (sadly, I hadn’t even noticed my four-year-old wasn’t with me, but no harm, no foul). Annie (my daughter) was trying on a matching outfit with Molly (her daughter - same age) and they were giddy with excitement at the thought of being all blingy and cute and matchy-matchy.

Being a girl and a shopper myself, I totally got that.

But what unfolded next was chaos that no four-year-old could have mustered. It took the 40 years of mis-guided shopping techniques and unresolved spending problems of their mommies.

Jenn - “Since Molly and Annie will have matching outfits, should we call Marci to see if her daughter Lauren (their friend) wants one, too”

Julie - “Good idea, and if we call Marci we better call Natalie so her daughter Maddie doesn’t feel left out.”

Then Julie leaves me in line to go look at matching shoes. MATCHING SHOES? I’ve got several kids (I mean, who can count at this point), many packages, a couple outfits and I’m on my cell phone without the use of one arm. Luckily the line was about 20 people long so I had time to discuss the particulars with Marci but couldn’t get in touch with Natalie.

Julie comes back with pink shoes that would clearly look darling with the outfits.

Jenn: “Dave Ramsey is going to be VERY disappointed with us, Julie”

Jenn (to a lady in line that I don’t know): “Do you think I should get these?”

What? I’m consulting strangers on my purchases now?

We finally got up to the front and in attempt to save money (parish the thought of actually putting back the shoes) I beg the cashier to honor the extra coupon I had somewhere back home in a messy stack of papers. She does and after ringing us up…together because we got an extra $10 coupon if we combined the purchase - never mind the chaos of sorting everything out later…Natalie calls us back!

Of course she wants a matching outfit - do they have her size?

Now I’m running to the rack and shouting across the store to anybody that will listen, “Does this shirt come in any other sizes?!”

After we find out what they have and what Maddie could get away with wearing (we are no longer concerned with getting exact sizes at this point-matching is our only desire). We go on to discuss the extra expense of the shoes. Natalie is going back and forth like a yo-yo (we are all taking the Dave Ramsey course and convinced that Dave himself with show up in Carters or where ever we are and have a come to Jesus with us).

Remember - we are AT the cashier at this point. With a line behind us.

Walking out with shirts, shoes and skirts of all sizes and shapes 15 minutes later - we aren’t quite sure what happened. My nine-year-old son reminds me that at some point during the chaos I promised him a pony or a car or something high dollar like that.

But lookey, lookey. Aren’t they cute?!!



  1. 1
    beke says:

    hahaha! For half a second you made me wish I had a girl. Thay are all so flippin cute!

Speak Your Mind