photo courtesy of flicker: SMJJP

My husband and I have gotten into a rut. We aren’t in good shape (physically) and it seems like we don’t have the chance to spend quality time together. After we give our attention to work, the bills, the kids and their activities and needs (homework, PTO, cub scouts, girl scouts, soccer….), the house, the bills, the laundry, the bills….

Well – there’s not a lot of time  for anything else and even less money  for “Mom and Dad – go have fun” outings. Can you relate?!!!!

I know, I know – make the time. I can clearly carve out wasted pockets of time to go walk, plan better for meals, get my family involved with chores that will give me more time for other things. And Ed and I can get creative with how we spend our time so that it’s fulfilling to both of us AND helps us left up our marriage.

But I need a kick in my pants. Will you kick me?

Figuritively. Not literally. Well – it can be literally, but don’t kick me too hard. Because I mean well and so do hundreds of other working women (with or without kids) who are really working hard, too.

Ed and I had a heart-to-heart the other day and we really want to find an interest we have in common that we can do together. I mean, the occasional night out alone for dinner and a movie is all fine and good BUT dinner usually results in setting us back financially (and bad choices AT dinner – physically) and a movie doesn’t really leave much of a chance for us to connect.

When we find some spare time Ed wants to work in the garage at his parents building stuff out of wood and I want to work on crafts. I have no interest in wood-working and Ed has little interest in paper crafting. We thought -wouldn’t it be cool if we had a hobby that we both enjoyed and we could have fun together?

We brainstormed. Rock climbing, ball room dancing, kayacking, all of them got the thumbs down for one reason or the other BUT all of them had one thing in common. Physical fitness.

Then I thought back to 1999. I spent that year, a beginning a new century training for a marathon in Hawaii. Eight months before I started I was in horrible shape, not happy with circumstances surrounding my career and in a lot of transition. I dedicated myself to training, getting in shape – and something that I found the most rewarding of all – raising money for cancer research.

Then I thought – why couldn’t Ed and I do this together? Exercising would give us time to talk and connect, makes us healthier and allow us to feel better about ourselves. And if we picked a cool sp0t to run it in, we could travel together. There’s a marathon in Spain in April 2012.

Three life lists items accomplished with one decision. #44 Get healthy, #45 do good things for others, #17 go to spain.

BUT – what if we can’t do it? I mean, what if the training is too hard? What if we can’t raise enough through the Leukemia Society’s marathon program to attend? What if we fail – again. We’re in the same spot only feeling worse about ourselves because we didn’t achieve success.

The program through the Leukemia Society, Team in Training, is a good one. I did it before and not only was I trained well physically, they helped me be successful in raising money for cancer research which in turn allowed me to enter the marathon.

Over the summer I ran into an old friend. She was 12 when she was under-going treatment for cancer and I feel in love with her family – their strength, their humor, their love for one another. When I saw her 20 years later in Greune, Texas, with her husband, two kids and parents I felt a raw emotion I couldn’t explain. She beat cancer and grew up to be a lovely lady with her own family.

I ran my marathon in 1999 in her honor. Did the money I raise help her beat cancer? Did the race I ran help give her hope?

I was young when I ran that race. I had energy and connections to train and raise money that I just don’t have at (gulp) almost 41 years of age. But I want to make a change – and I want to do it with the man I love. I want to get out of  a rut and I want to make my life better. And maybe someone else’s (like Kasey) too.

So readers….I’m asking you – what should I do?