Bug ‘Em

Have you seen these guys on TV? Hallmark makes them and when my kids saw the commercial they decided they must own them.

“You get it for us for Valentine’s Day, mom – and then, see, you can hide it again and again throughout the year with new treats!” said my son.

“It’s the gift that keeps on giving,” I muttered under my breath. “I must remember to call the brilliant folks at Hallmark for creating a gift that needs to be replenished and regiven again and again.”

Still – the little guys are pretty cute and it’s rare for my kids to be so enamoured with an item that costs less than $10.00 (albeit $9.95). If this purchase was going to make them happy come Valentine’s Day morning…who was I to say no?

Fast forward a couple weeks — two days before Valentine’s Day as I walk into a bugless Hallmark store. This was going to be a little more difficult then I thought. On Sunday (the day before Valentine’s Day) my husband took the kids out so I could go on the hunt. Another Hallmark store left me empty-handed and I began to feel a bit like I did several years ago when the Wii came out but was impossible to get for Christmas. And then again two years ago when Zuu-zuu pets were impossible to find.

Pretty much all a company has to tell me is that an item will be in short supply and I want it. Doesn’t even matter what it is. I must have some kind of a caveman, hunt and kill type thing going on. Only in the modern world where we exchange money for pretty, shiny things.

With a tip that they might have some at HEB I raced across town. I’m in the card aisle with basically every dad, boyfriend and husband in town – pawing through what’s left of the cards that might pass for appropriate for their given relationship (beggers can’t be choosers at this point – if all they have is A Little Mermaid card that says “You’re the best daughter” and it’s for your 22 year-old-girlfriend – well – as my daughter’s preschool teacher always says – “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit!”)

As my eyes wildly scan each shelf I notice a little red and black polka dot plush item poking from underneath the bar mitvah cards. Is it…could it be… a BUG?! Yes – it is…and he’s got a little friend right by him. The last two bugs and they’re mine…all mine!!! I literally twirl around with my hands up in the air before I softly place them in my cart.

I came. I saw. I conquered. With the pressure off – I start meandering through the cards…when a lady rushes up to me.

“Where did you get those?” she says – a little too accusatory for my taste.

“Right there – but there aren’t anymore left,” I said. Pity. Well – the early bird catches the worm and all that.

“My son wants one,” she said – staring me down.

“Yeah – my kids do, too,” I said – laughing awkwardly. Is this going to get ugly?

“My son REALLY wants one,” she said. Looking down at the cart as if I have a liver on ice in there – ready for transplant. Does she really expect me to offer her one?

“Yeah. They are hard to find. I’ve been to several Hallmark stores and they are out,” I said. Wait. That was kinda mean. I shouldn’t rub it in afterall. Yet I picked up both my bugs and firmly gripped them. I mean, desperate times call for desperate measures. Could this lady crack under the holiday pressure and take one? I couldn’t chance it. I didn’t have appropriate running shoes on.

“Yeah – me, too. What am I going to DO NOW?” she said very loudly.

I’m thinking, lady – you are high if you think I’m giving you one of my bugs. I earned these! (I can kind of be a bitch in my head). I mean – she really shouldn’t have waited until the last minute if her son wanted one so bad. Er. Wait. That was me a few minutes ago.

“Let’s see if they have anymore, you know – in the back or something,” I said – trying to console her. Now she and I both know her chances are slim to none…but she’s definitely NOT one of those caveman hunter type people and I can tell she needs someone to take over for her.

I walked her to the closest HEB attired person I could find, explained to him the pickle she was in and gave her a little pat on the back. “You’re in good hands now,” I said. I mean – I can’t hold her hand throughout the entire process. You gotta set them free at some point and let them test their wings.

She came running back a few minutes later. “They found one, they found one!” So little Johnny is going to get a bug after all. Everything is right in the world. Feeling good about the part I played in the process, I turned to another lady and smiled. “They’re basically impossible to find right now but I helped her get one!” I said.

“Can you get one for me?”

Oh brother.

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Comments

  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    OMG….that is hilarious! You ARE obsessed or obsessive compulsive. Oh wait, that's the pot calling the kettle isn't it?!?!

  2. 2
    Kim Harrell says:

    How funny…Finders keepers losers weepers!! (that's my moto) 🙂

  3. 3
    Veronica Lee says:

    Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog.
    Have a nice day!

  4. 4
    beke says:

    muuuuaahahahaha!

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