Full-On Crisis Mode Alert

I’m feeling particularly sorry for myself because my husband is traveling to Dublin on business and leaving in a couple days. When he first heard about his trip last month we agreed that I would definitely go with him and we ran to the post office to apply for our passports with a level of energy and enthusiasm I don’t think I’ve had for anything for a very long time.

The passports arrived in the mail and unfortunately so did the realization that I could not go to Dublin with him. We simply can’t afford it. So I’m sitting here in bed next to him while he’s working on his presentation that he will give and I’m feeling a little bit sorry for myself. Happy for him…definitely because he’ll be going on an adventure but I’ll – well – I’ll be here.

I’ll be juggling working and taking care of kids. Worrying simultaneously about an insurmountable amount of debt and what form needs to be signed and returned in my son’s school folder. Upset about how hot it is in Houston and the weight I’ve gained and the guilt I feel when I don’t accomplish everything I need to in a day and the many ways I’m not the kind of person I really want to be.

Did I mention that I’m about to turn 40? (Aha. It’s all beginning to make sense, no?!) 🙂

I was at an Astros game birthday party for a friend’s son recently and in the middle of the second inning I turned to the person sitting behind me and said, “I’m serious. I’m in full-on crisis mode here. Literally, as I speak. I’m having a break down. You just can’t see it.” Then I turned to the guy who walks up and down the stairs selling stuff off a stick and asked him for a bag of kettle corn.

So I’m feeling bad about not getting to go to Ireland (I’ve never been abroad) and that I can’t seem to get my four-year-old to stop whining and fighting with my almost nine-year-old son.

And I decided – even though I don’t feel like I could possibly squeeze in one more thing to do on my schedule (most days I don’t even put a dent in my list between work and home duties) – I’m going to start a “Life List”, things I want to do before I’m no longer around to do them!

Inspired by Karen at www.chookooloonks.com (a blogger I met at a social media conference last winter who was actually inspired to create her own list by another blogger…Mighty Girl)I’m going to begin brainstorming things I want to do. 100 of them. And they can’t be things like “lose weight” – no guilt for not completing them.

I’m too tired tonight to start. Well – not really. I’ll put down the first one.

1. Visit Dublin, Ireland.

I’m not going in a week…but I will go one day.

What about you? Do you have a life list? Do you want to start one with me? I hope so.

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Comments

  1. 1
    Karen from Chookooloonks says:

    Yay! I can't wait to see what's on your list! And you will find that once you publish it? People will come out of the woodwork to help you do it.

    Myself included. 🙂

    Good luck!

    K.

  2. 2
    TJ Avery says:

    Well if you ever want to run 3 miles through the neighborhood wearing nothing but mayonnaise and a fez, good luck. That sounds entirely feasible and worthy of a "life list" item, that is, of course, you can find a good fez in Houston.

    The thing that bugs me about "life lists" or "bucket lists" or whatever you want to call them is that most people seem to be content making them but not pursuing them. It's really a matter of comfort. Nearly all of us are financially and physically capable of jumping out of an airplane (provided an assuredly safe parachute is firmly attached to our bodies) but do we really have the balls to step outside our comfort zone and do it?

    Oh, and about the mayonnaise- you should be totally safe. Due to the relatively low frequency of stray and loose dogs in the area, it's highly probable that you won't be mistaken for a sandwich. You may, however, cause a traffic accident by your mere appearance (which could be, or should be, a "life list" item all by itself).

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