I am a Gagger

Is that even a word? Gagger? Well – I gag. A lot. At bad smells, at bad tastes when I have post nasal drip and always, ALWAYS at the dentist. I think this post will be the first in a series I’m going to call – “I am Pathetic”.

I’ve been to the dentist a lot of the last year. In August I had a molar bail on me and decided to have a tooth implant. I’ve visited my oral surgeon about 10 times over the last six months – who by the way is a sweetie and I think…about 16 years-old.

The whole “dig the tooth outta there” part was the worst. Well – really the recovery from it. For about three weeks it hurt – but that wasn’t that bad. It got infected and it tasted BAD. And smelled BAD. I was in a perpetual “gag” state the entire time. It was fun.

The rest of the time – not so bad. I mean, I’m neurotic…so besides the countless number of “is this normal?” “should I be feeling this right now?” “do you think we should be concerned about this?” type statements – I’ve been ok.

Until today.

It’s the simplest part of the whole ordeal, I’m told. In fact – it has nothing to do with the implant process really. Today was “take the impression for the crown” day. I go to a no-nonsense dentist…not the hand holder – this one. I’m not sure why…I guess I’m one for tough love. I think I was in denial about what was going to take place today. I’ve had several crowns done. I know the drill. But I was all smiles in the dentist chair, chatting up the assistant and asking nicely if she could turn the TV up a bit so I could hear “Ellen”. Then I saw the trays.

It’s cold in Houston today and I started sweating. My breathing and heart rate started to accelerate. I told the assistant – “this is not going to go well.”

She laughed.

The minute my dentist put the bottom tray on I started dry heaving like I had been out all night drinking Mad Dog 20/20. And once I started, I couldn’t stop gagging.

“Breathe through your nose, raise your foot up, relax.”

Yeah, right. Like any of that’s going to work. With both my hands I grasped the dentists hands and pulled down. Hard. She was clearly pissed.

“Put your hands down,” she yelled. “Breathe through you nose” (did I just hear her say dammit?) I don’t know. Clearly I wasn’t going to get any emotional support from her. I searched frantically for the assistant’s hand and held on tightly. She had no choice but to let me.

After the longest three minutes of my life, we were through. I know I was just the biggest pain in the ass ever and I apologized profusely. But I didn’t get any obligatory, “that’s ok,” or “no biggee” or even “don’t worry about it.” She just came at me with the top tray.

Shit.

I know you’ll be proud to hear that I did much better. Of course, the top tray only took a minute to set. Then my dentist ran out of the room. No “see you in three weeks” or “take care” or even “have a nice day”. She just left without even saying goodbye.

I apologized again to the assistant and she just smiled.

“Do other people do that when you take impressions?” I asked.

“Actually, no,” she said.

What? Doesn’t she understand how this works? She’s supposed to lie to me and tell me “of course, everyone does it” to make me feel better!

Well -whatever. It is what it is. But I am….pathetic.

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Comments

  1. 1
    Tanya says:

    What a b**ch! I hate dentists- esp. the ones that make you feel inferior.
    -Tanya

  2. 2
    beke rios says:

    I would absolutely without delay find a new dentist.

  3. 3
    michelle says:

    Other people DO gag like that. My son heaved like he'd been on a three-day bender (he was 10)when they took his impressions for his braces years ago. The orth's tech seemed very unimpressed with is display, which lead me to think it was fairly common. You are not alone!

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